The Disciple and Bitterness-1

The Disciple and Bitterness-1
Imanuel G. Christian
September 2010

A couple of months ago (June) our subject was about one of the good emotions that God wants His people to cultivate, cheerfulness of heart. This month and the next we will look at one of the bad emotions, bitterness of heart. I think bitterness of heart is one of the worst emotions that anybody, especially a believer, can have because it has many far-reaching and drastic impacts, not only on the believer personally but also on anybody around that person, including the whole assembly that he may be a part of.

Sometimes the word “bitterness” in the Bible, especially in the Old Testament, is used for intense heart wrenching pain that a person feels while going through an overwhelmingly painful experience. Naomi, for example, felt that bitter pain. She said, “Don’t call me Naomi” (pleasant), she told them. ”Call me Mara (bitter), because the Almighty has made my life very bitter” (Ruth 1:20). Job experienced that “bitterness of soul” (Job 3:20). The troubles of the psalmist were “many and bitter” (Psalm 70:20). The prophet Jeremiah felt that bitterness of soul while declaring the coming destruction of Jerusalem, “How bitter it is! How it pierces to the heart! Oh, my anguish, my anguish! I writhe in pain. Oh, the agony of my heart!” (Jeremiah 4:18-19).

In this article we are not speaking about this kind of bitterness. This is bitterness of soul that is normal and we all experience when we go through some extremely painful experiences. It is normal and not wrong at all.

But the bitterness that is especially talked about in the New Testament is the bitterness of heart that is a negative feeling of bitterness. It is a result of an angry and bitter outlook on life that is filled with resentment and attacks on others. It is diametrically opposed to the cheerfulness of heart that we talked about a couple of months ago.

There are two main kinds of bitterness of heart. One is caused by difficult circumstances or tragic events, as we mentioned above. When we are going through a tragic or difficult circumstance, it is natural to experience bitterness of soul. But sometimes this bitterness of soul can linger on and take hold of us and develop into bitterness of heart. We may grow bitter and complaining towards God as the children of Israel did during their wilderness journey. We may grow bitter towards other people, blaming them for the tragic event or circumstance.

The best remedy for this is turning our eyes from the circumstance and focusing on God, trusting in His sovereignty and goodness. His sovereignty means nothing happens in our life that is not His good and perfect will. And His goodness means God always has a good purpose in allowing that situation, even though many, or most, times we may not be able to see that.

One of the good purposes God has in mind in allowing us to go through difficult situations, as often mentioned in the New Testament, is building up our character. Hardships in life are a form of training that God in love has determined we need for our own good and spiritual maturity. As the author of Hebrews says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11; read vv. 4-13).

Similarly, James writes, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

Knowing this ultimate good that God has in mind in allowing difficulties in a believer’s life, Paul writes these familiar words, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28). Difficult circumstances can either make a believer better or bitter. God’s intention is to make us better. But when we are bitter, we do not allow the Spirit of God to accomplish His plan and purpose in our lives.

The other kind of bitterness is partly related to the first kind. Because of our difficult situation we shift from having bitterness towards God to having bitterness towards another person or other people whom we, rightly or wrongly, blame for that difficult situation. A drunk driver, for example, caused major injuries and drastically altered your life. Or, someone insulted you and said some hurtful things. Or, someone took away what you were entitled to have, like a promotion at your job. Or, you organized a major event taking care of most everything, and someone else took the credit. There is no end of situations in life that can cause major hurt: physical, emotional and many times financial. We all face major relationship problems, most times with the very people we are closest to and care the most about. This is a major cause of bitterness in the lives of most people. This kind of bitterness usually lingers for a long time and eats up our heart like acid poured in a raw wound.

The best remedy for this kind of bitterness, as we all know very well, is forgiveness from our hearts, trusting God to use even this situation for our good, as we noted above. Even in this, God’s sovereign will and good purpose come into effect. Only because Joseph completely forgave his brothers, he could tell them, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done” (Genesis 50:20).

How can we forgive? We can forgive because of the grace of God, the grace of God shown towards us in our own life and God’s command to show the same grace to those who hurt us. This is what the author of Hebrews means when he says, “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15). And Paul commands, “Forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Why do we have to forgive? Because we have no other choice! There are major consequences of lingering resentment and bitterness of heart. We will see some of those next month.